INTRODUCTION
Everyone has their pet peeves and the things that make them crazy. If you ask my wife and kids what drives me nuts, they will tell you, “stupid stuff.” Of course, I am not immune to doing stupid things. The evidence will be made abundantly clear as you read through this book. So just what is stupid stuff? The things that shouldn’t happen and yet seem to abound just because someone didn’t take the time to think through what they were about to do. Usually the end results are disastrous.
Stupid questions also fall into this category. Is there such a thing as a stupid question? You bet your life. We have all heard the axiom, “There is no such thing as a stupid question.” I firmly believe that the stupid question exists. Some things don’t need to be asked and shouldn’t be asked. A good number of stupid questions start with, “What would happen if I . . .” Like, “What would happen if I stuck this into the electrical outlet?” If you have to ask, you probably don’t want to know. Some stupid questions are asked because the asker wasn’t paying attention in the first place. The math teacher says, “Do all of the even numbered problems for homework tonight.” The genius in the third row raises his hand and asks, “Do you want us to do the odd ones, too?” Stupid stuff and stupid questions do not have to happen.
Stupid stuff includes the unexplained. Bizarre things happen every day that defy explanation. Everyone has experienced this. You go through some unusual circumstances, and you can’t quite make heads or tails out of what just happened—not that what has happened was bad—you just can’t figure out the why’s and the how’s. If you’re like me, you like knowing what is going on. An unsatisfied sense of curiosity makes my head spin.
This book is full of stupid stuff (with many more things left unwritten). In fact, every chapter has a “stupid” title. Most of the stories fit the first definition of stupid stuff—those things that happened that shouldn’t have. There are also a few stories that defy explanation and simply leave you scratching your head. Hopefully, you’ll get a good laugh out of the things I have seen and done (yes, I have actually done quite a bit of the “stupid stuff”). However, here is the warning. DO NOT ATTEMPT THE THINGS WRITTEN HEREIN. I am not a professional and have survived only by the grace of God. I will not be held liable for your pain, suffering, injury, and humiliation for doing what you read here. The point is to learn the lessons attached to each chapter, not to repeat the obvious foolishness (with the exception of the last chapter—in that case, “fool away”).
To that end, each chapter includes “Think About It” questions. These questions are designed to help you think through your own experiences in light of the truths presented. You can read and work through this book by yourself; however, I would highly recommend going through this book with another person. Being able to share your answers with someone else has a dynamic way of bringing deeper understanding, not only of yourself but also in what God has been and is doing in your life. There’s also nothing like sharing your own stupid stories for the simple shock value of seeing the expression on your friend’s face. This book is also ideal for Sunday School classes and small group settings because the questions are designed to foster dialogue.
I would love to hear from you! Feel free to contact me at my email address, smokingnewspaper@gmail.com. It would delight me to know that I am not the only stupid person on the planet who had to learn some things the hard way. My hope is that what I have experienced will, in some way, bring you closer to God. Believe it or not, it has done just that for me. I would love to hear about these kinds of stories most of all. So with no further delay, let the stupidity begin.
Joy in Christ,
John P. King
CHAPTER ONE Stupid Influence or Don’t Smoke the Newspaper
CHAPTER TWO Stupidity Multiplied or A Case of the Martian Measles
CHAPTER THREE Stupidity’s Reward or The Stupid Shall Be Punished
CHAPTER FOUR Stupid Mercy or Shooting Cars Is a Bad Idea
CHAPTER FIVE Stupid Love or The Free Pepsi Dance
CHAPTER SIX Stupid Faith or A Lesson from Economics
CHAPTER SEVEN Stupid Planning or That Don’t Make No Sense
CHAPTER EIGHT Stupid Predicaments or Life Out of Control
CHAPTER NINE Stupid Pride or Volleyball is a Cruel, Cruel Game
CHAPTER TEN Stupid Anger or Mess with the Bull, and You’ll Get the Horns
CHAPTER ELEVEN Stupid People or There Are Some Real Weirdoes Out There
CHAPTER TWELVE Stupid Desires or Be Careful What You Wish for . . .
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Stupid Ministry or I Did Not Sign Up For This
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Stupid Kid or You Won’t Get It Until You Got It
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